Julia will finish her first week of high dose chemo tomorrow. She did exceptionally well on Monday and Tuesday, but starting feeling a little sick on Wednesday. She had some vomiting and is suffering from stomach aches and headaches. She is getting a little weaker and more tired each day as her counts drop. She will probably be bottomed out by tomorrow and most likely need a blood transfusion tomorrow. She is feeling exactly the way doctors expected and thankfully she has experienced no major side effects or complications. She has had no fevers or mouth sores yet, although her hair has started falling out. Overall, she is doing well given the circumstances, and hopefully she will continue.
Julia is a fighter and believe me she has had to fight since 6 months old. It is amazing to see how strong this little girl really is. As I watched her last week with at least 8 lines going at once with pre chemo drugs, then chemo after chemo, and then post chemo drugs my head was spinning. I was sick just watching everything that had to go through this little girls body. But not Julia.......she continued to be feisty, bossy, and she made sure to tell the nurses exactly what she thought of them (good and bad)!!! This incredible little girl has had to endure more in 4 years of life then most of us will in a lifetime. It is her strength and stubbornness that is my inspiration.
It's been 7 weeks and things are starting to get to me. The lack of sleep, the lack of privacy, and most importantly the lack of time I've gotten to spend with Anthony and Emily. Although I know that this is where I need to be and that right now Julia needs me more than anyone, I can not help but feel guilty for leaving Anthony and Emily. I keep thinking about all the time I am missing with them, and that I can never get it back. I don't know why our family has been tested over and over again but I hope and pray everyday that at the end of all this we will get the much needed and deserved quality time all together.
Thanks again for all your support and I will try and update you all weekly. In the meantime, please keep Julia in your prayers.