Hope you all had a wonderful holidays and we wish you all the best for 2012.
Julia had a good holidays and remained well......thank god. It was confirmed over the holidays that Julia will need a minimum of 4 cycles of CTL therapy in NY. We are leaving for cycle 2 on January 11. And will need to go back in Feb, Mar, and April. NY doctors will not know if the therapy is working until just before the 3rd cycle. They have started growing Julia's own cells and hope they will be ready by cycle 4. I am having a very hard time knowing we have to keep going back to NY since I did not do well there. Anthony is devastated that we will be leaving again and life just seems really all over the place right now. Impossible to have routine, stability, or any type of normalcy right now for all of us. Including for my parents who are at our beck and call trying to help both me and the kids right now. They were suppose to be in Florida enjoying their time and because of the situation are unable to go.....I feel horrible. In the past 5.5 years I have been under an enormous amount of stress and always managed to hold it together just fine. Something about being in NY triggered something for me and to be honest I am having a very hard time coping right now. I'm trying to figure out what it is but just don't know what it is. It may just be the whole situation and the extreme exhaustion catching up to me. I only hope that I start feeling better and coping better some time very soon.
To all my dear friends, I apologize for not being in touch and I know your all very worried about me but right now I need to work through this and get strong for Julia's sake. And most times I just can't talk about things anymore. Please know that I love you all and appreciate your concern but I will be fine once I take some time for me.
I will keep you all posted on how Julia does with cycle 2 in NY. Please pray for an uneventful trip to NY and a quick return home.